In life, one always wants to give a gift to the people around them, and a delicate little gift can harmonize relationships. But have you ever had such an experience:
Every time I travel, I spend a lot of money buying gifts for my colleagues. I work hard to carry them back, but instead of being ungrateful, my colleagues criticize me behind my back for being stingy?
Do you spend time carefully selecting gifts that the other party never uses or even sells directly on second-hand websites?
During holidays and festivals, you give heartfelt gifts to customers, which are then passed on several times and returned to you.
These examples are countless, making you feel both aggrieved and helpless.
These are all because you don’t know how to give gifts.
So, what is the correct way to open a gift?
“Sending” and “giving” are both crucial. Don’t start from yourself, but rather let the other party gain psychological satisfaction.
Share a recent story from around me:
When I finished writing a plan for overtime at night and was about to leave the office, I found Michelle lying on her desk, sobbing softly.
Michelle is an intern at the company, coming from a remote small town with a difficult family. She started working part-time during her college years. I work very hard and live a simple life. I am down-to-earth and very popular with colleagues in the company.
Due to the remote location of the town and good neighborhood relationships, people often give gifts to each other. After Michelle started working and making money, she worked diligently and prepared a set of clothes for everyone. During a certain festival, a person brought three large boxes of clothes back to the small town. Although very tired, she was very happy as she watched everyone in the town get the clothes she had prepared.
A few days ago, a neighbor of hers also graduated from college and found her desired job. The first month’s salary was prepared as a gift for the villagers. My friend gave each house a bottle of the cheapest imported red wine, which is actually priced lower than Mishell’s clothes.
On the surface, people in the small town are very grateful for the gifts from both of them, but in reality, Mishell’s gifts are not particularly popular.
She couldn’t figure out why her gift was durable and why it wasn’t popular?
Let me tell you another office story:
Cristina is a newly employed girl who is humble and polite, and is very polite to everyone.
She loves traveling very much and goes to a place every holiday, both domestically and internationally. Every time she comes back, she buys gifts for everyone in the company. Some of them cooperate with her work and have close relationships, while others have little interaction and distant relationships. Cristina treats everyone equally every time, giving everyone the same item, sometimes a refrigerator sticker with local characteristics, sometimes a uniquely shaped USB flash drive. Although the item is not too expensive, there are many people in the company, and each time it is delivered, it costs a lot of money. Moreover, it is always brought back from far away by people, giving gifts to each workstation, and speaking polite words with a smiling face.
But what about the outcome?
One year later, the department was going to optimize layoffs, and Cristina was fired by all colleagues in the department who unanimously accused her of poor work ability.
Is Cristina really lacking in work ability?
I have had contact with her several times, and she is a serious girl with good abilities. Moreover, a newcomer to the workplace will not be entrusted with heavy responsibilities by the company. As long as they have a sociable personality and a hardworking attitude, their work ability will not be poor enough to be fired.
So, is Cristina unjust?
I have avenged her.
Because Cristina doesn’t get along well with colleagues, it makes everyone uncomfortable and feels like she likes to stand out, show off, and is skilled in the world. Naturally, when the company is considering layoffs, everyone pushes her down.
Let’s analyze the several mistakes Cristina made in giving gifts:
- Everyone thinks she likes to show off
Originally, when everyone went to work, you always went on trips and should try to be low-key. However, every time she was giving away souvenirs from various countries with a high profile, everyone would have a sour grape mentality in their hearts. “As long as you have the money to travel frequently, who hasn’t had the opportunity to travel?” In addition, the value of the gift itself can also affect the recipient’s mentality. If the value is too high, it cannot be too low. I will explain in detail how to choose the value of the gift later.
- No need to give it to everyone
Everyone gives it away, which is also a kind of announcement, giving people a feeling of showing off. In the office, it is inevitable that it is too prominent, and everyone does not like people who love to show off.
The correct way to do this is to choose a few colleagues who have a good relationship with your work and are good at it, and that’s enough. As for those who are usually distant, giving gifts will not bring them closer, but rather make both parties feel awkward. It’s better not to waste that money.
Those with incompatible personalities don’t need to be forcefully integrated. Working together means having different personalities, family backgrounds, and ideas. Don’t pursue that everyone likes you, as it will exhaust you and make you a good person who is afraid of offending others and can’t accomplish anything.
For those with incompatible personalities, just cooperate in work.
- Do not give gifts at public workstations, but privately, so that the recipient is not burdened and helps to bring the relationship closer.
Giving in public can also make people feel like you’re showing off, and as the giver, it’s important to be low-key.
Moreover, office politics are inherently complex, and you are likely to inadvertently make enemies for yourself.
For example, if there is a conflict between Director A and Director B, and you openly give gifts to Director A, then in the eyes of others, you are actively standing in line with Director A. Therefore, Director B and his supporters will have hostility towards you, and those who do not stand in line will also feel that you are trying to curry favor with the leader and will therefore look down on you.
Alternatively, if Petty has a good relationship with you but knows that Director C doesn’t like you, then from Petty’s perspective, he may not want Director C or others to see that he is very close to you, and your public disclosure will make the other party very difficult.
In short, it is a dangerous behavior to openly get close to anyone in the office. You may inadvertently make countless enemies for yourself, but you don’t know yet.
If you give gifts privately, you won’t bring such trouble to yourself or others.
- Do not give the same thing to each recipient of gifts
Everyone has their own preferences, and if you give the same thing, it only means that you are too lazy to put your heart into it and don’t understand the other person. In this way, your gift giving is seen by the other person as a form, a routine, and everyone likes to be treated with sincerity, not a routine.
You may think that everyone can give the same thing without comparison and treat everyone equally, but in fact, you have offended everyone.
Everyone feels like a special individual, a unique existence.
The process of choosing a gift reflects your dedication and understanding of the other person.
Give gifts according to everyone’s preferences.
By giving gifts, make the other person feel deeply valued and cared for by you, so that your friendship can advance.
The value of giving gifts is not just a piece of chocolate or two cans of coffee beans. You are giving him attention and respect, and paying attention to him is respecting him.
For example, if A likes to drink coffee, you can give him coffee beans. B Love beauty, you can give scarves as a gift. C loves to eat snacks, you can give away small snacks. To cater to one’s preferences and give gifts based on each person’s personality and preferences is true engagement, not office tactics.
Everyone, when receiving a gift, also receives a signal to pay attention to them.
Everyone yearns to be noticed and valued, and the sign of being valued is that you remember the little things about them.
For example, if you remember what dishes she doesn’t like to eat, the colors she likes, the celebrities she dislikes, and these small things she accidentally mentions in her daily communication, the other person will feel valued.
So, if you don’t take it seriously and give gifts in a wholesale manner, not only will it not earn you any points, but it will also hurt those who were originally close to you. They thought they were closer to you than others, but when you give them a gift that tells them “you’re nothing special,” they will feel hurt.
- Do your job well and don’t try to please everyone
In the workplace, many newcomers strive to make everyone like them, only to be seen as someone who understands the world and is utilitarian in their work. They will look down on you and think that you have no real ability except to please colleagues and leaders in the company. Otherwise, you don’t need to be so scheming to please people.
The human subconscious is very fond of finding logical relationships. For example, Cristina simply wants to be kind to others. But everyone will assume that Cristina lacks work ability and relies on building interpersonal relationships to maintain her job.
Sometimes we are disappointed with human nature, is it because human nature is too evil?
In fact, it’s not that human nature is too dark, it’s just that gift giving does require skill. Sometimes, a casual word or action from you can hurt someone else’s self-esteem, and once self-esteem is hurt, it cannot be healed.
Let’s first talk about the gifts first
Many young people who have just entered the workplace often equate the price of products with friendship. Simply put, the value of a gift is the selling price of the product.
In fact, gifts are more about satisfying the recipient’s psychological satisfaction. If you choose a gift based on what you think the other person needs. It is easy to develop a feeling of condescending and giving to others. Don’t satisfy your sense of superiority and make others feel inferior by giving gifts.
The principle of giving gifts is that if someone is not doing well in life, they should give something with high brand added value because they are reluctant to spend it on their own. And some people with better economic conditions actually want to give something more practical. They no longer need to use brands to package themselves, but rather care more about the quality and value of the product itself.
Many boys use a month’s salary to give their girlfriends expensive gifts when chasing them, but they don’t feel much about them.
After illness, a hand made egg Fried Rice may be remembered by girls for a lifetime.
This is similar to returning home during the Spring Festival when some people are unwilling to bring too many local specialties from their hometown.
“Practicality” does not mean “affection”, “value” does not mean “weight”.
What gifts do ordinary people expect?
Friends will look forward to rare and distinctive gifts
Simply put, it’s a rare item for them! The kind that can hardly be bought in their place.
For example, if you give them a bottle of ordinary local red wine or snacks, but they can easily buy them in the supermarket, doesn’t that make you feel less joyful!
Friends will love small objects with special meanings very much
Whenever they see these small items with special meanings, they will recall the happy times you spent with them and the origin of this gift. Compared to finished products, even if your DIY small items look rough, they will still love them! When guests come to the house, they can also share the stories behind the gifts with them.
I remember a little story about a woman who bought a house for a couple. Before moving out, the couple said they wanted to move a wooden mailbox on the lawn at the door. They said that the colorful rainbow mailbox was a gift from their good friend, so its significance was very significant.
If your gift can also be shared with guests like this, then you will definitely be very happy too.
What are the taboos for giving gifts?
- Gift with animal patterns
When giving gifts with animal patterns, it is important to understand their cultural significance. For example, in Chinese culture, both dragons and cranes represent auspicious gifts, but in Western culture, cranes are symbols of foolishness, while dragons are evil and greedy animals. In addition, there are also sheep. We believe that sheep are gentle animals, but in English, only sheep symbolize gentleness, while goats are lecherous animals.
- Be cautious when giving gourmet gifts
There are many dietary taboos between Muslims and Hindus, and it can be embarrassing to give the wrong gift without fully understanding it! Some pastries also contain a lot of lard, so they are not suitable for giving to friends who believe in Muslims. Many foreigners are also vegetarians or fish vegetarians, so it is not appropriate to give meat as a gift
- Health gifts
For example, it’s best not to give away items related to health care and weight loss and fitness! Because it is generally taboo to discuss weight and health status, which belongs to personal privacy, so do not offend others
- Don’t be too valuable
If a gift is too expensive, it can put a psychological burden on the other party. If you accept it, you may feel pressured, but if you don’t accept it, you may feel embarrassed. In this way, a carefully prepared gift becomes a “hot potato”, so choosing some exquisite and affordable small items will be more suitable! After all, gifts are valued by heart rather than price.
Let’s talk about how to give the gifts then
The giver is happy, while the receiver is happy, achieving the best of both worlds.
So when giving gifts, not only do you need to pay attention to the gift, but you also need to pay attention to how to give it.
Giving gifts, giving gifts, the important thing is to give the gifts out. By sending this gesture, it shows respect, politeness, and respect.
Without gifts, only gifts will only have the opposite effect. Even the recipient of the gift may feel that you are intentionally showing off and may feel humiliated.
The most irreparable aspect of interpersonal communication is that you hurt the other person’s self-esteem and they think you look down on them.
Similarly, if you can make the other person feel valued, respected, and noticed, then your relationship will become better and better.
Finally, summarize the basic principles of gift giving
More importantly than gifts, choosing a gift reveals your concern and respect for everyone. Gifts are not important, but your concern and respect for the other person are the most important.
People who are taller than you should be cautious when giving gifts; People who are lower than you should be pragmatic when giving gifts. Don’t let your sense of superiority prick others.
More important than gifts is the way they are given: the more you give someone something, the lower your posture should be, and do not deliberately emphasize the value of the gift.
If it’s giving gifts to colleagues, there’s no need to cover everything. Don’t give the same things, it should vary from person to person and reflect differences.
Gifts are given with sincerity, not measured by money. The core is to start from the other party and give what they want, rather than giving what they want.
It’s better not to give a heartless gift, not only will it not earn points, but it will also lose points.
Gifts giving tips
- Add your own thoughts to the gift
A DIY small gift or adding a handwritten note to the gift will make the recipient feel your sincerity! Even if it’s clumsy and not refined enough, it can make the recipient very happy
- How to make greeting cards
The first step in writing a greeting card is to write a title, which can be modified. After writing the title, you need to write a blessing. Blessings should be written in response to the occasion, such as the gift given during Christmas, which should be accompanied by blessings for Christmas. Blessings should preferably come from the heart and be sincere. After blessing, write the name of the person who sent the greeting card in the signature, and then write the date below the name. After writing, you can also decorate the greeting card by drawing some beautiful small patterns to make it look more warm and sincere
- Proper packaging should be emphasized
Even for small gifts, don’t treat packaging gifts casually. As with the first point, packaging gifts can demonstrate that you have prepared the gift with care. A beautifully packaged and appropriate gift will make the recipient feel valued and of course, happy!
- Control the quantity of gifts well
Like Americans, they believe that singular numbers are auspicious (except for 13), which is different from the Chinese people’s emphasis on pairing, so before giving gifts, it is necessary to first check the other country’s practices in this regard.
- Be cautious when sending flowers
There are national differences in understanding the symbolism of flowers and animals. Sending a carefully selected bouquet of flowers can make the recipient feel happy, but it can be awkward if the flowers given do not have a good meaning in the recipient’s culture! Give a few examples: Brazilians believe that purple flowers are used for funerals, Germans believe that tulips have the meaning of “heartless flowers”, and lilies represent death in the eyes of British and Canadians
- Understand the etiquette of opening gifts in the other country
Many people in many countries like to open gifts in person and praise them, in order to feel the joy together with the gift giver. Opening gifts in person is etiquette for them!
To avoid these taboos, as long as you prepare gifts with care, it can reflect your feelings and make those who receive them happy. If this article can help you, why not save it for easy search? I hope everyone can choose exquisite and practical gifts!!
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